The day began well with fine weather. Omi & I got the fires going and I started chopping wood which is something I really enjoy doing and have done for 5 winters now... when A.Man. arrived and immediately rushed towards me and wanted the axe and then wanted to tell me a version of;
Yr Doing It Wrong...
So, I lost my temper. Yes. It doesn't happen often. I don't think he understood much of what I was saying.. I don't remember very clearly what I said but some phrases stand out;
"why did you have to come over here and assert your masculinity"
"do you patronise all women like this?"
It's not even as if he's a particularly bad example of the genre. He does at least know what he's talking about, and it's (vaguely) conceivable that he might have dealt with a man this way .. err, no it's not. There's no way he would have spoken to a man like that, he would have just left me chopping as I am completely competent and besides which the job was almost done! Enough excuses for this unreflective chauvinism.
I've lived in this town so long now that I've become numb to it, a little. I think my trip away, the blessed relief of not having to listen to non stop gender policing the way I have to in this little town... maybe the trip away reminded me of how peaceful it is to be able to be my complicated self and not be continually policed into being feminine.
Why do these villagers talk about it so much? I don't get it. Women are actually really strong here, they run the place. Plenty of them chop wood and drive tractors as well as bake the world's best food and raise their children brilliantly.
It just makes me so tired. I want to go home to my hometown friends.
Anyway, that wasn't what I was her to blog about.
Later, after the bbq and the working bee... I played guitar.
First was "Bridge Graft", then "Ragamuffin Shanty", then "Sigh No More".
That was really cool. I loved how my songs came straight back to me.
